Reality::..Friends – season 1, based after The Pilot but before anything major happens
Rated::..PG for adult themes
Genre::..Romance, humour & drama
Characters::..Phoebe, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Ross & Chandler.
Pairing::..Phoebe/Joey – or Joebe, if you will
Author’s Note::..So seeing is how Phoebe & Joey never hooked up in the show I had to write it for myself. I figure that the way those two act around each other, something like this could have believably been written into the show. I tried to stay as true to the show as I could & capture the characters personalities as best as I could.
I’ve pretty much just ignored the outline of The One with the Flashback because number 1: Phoebe & Joey don’t hook up in that (unfortunately) & number 2: Kip isn’t still going out with Monica then. I just wanted to add in someone for Monica & I love the episode The One with All the Kips so I felt that maybe Kip deserved a moment in the sun.
Here we are, now at the end in this fourth & final part. There's a little more drama in this chapter (it picks up directly after last chapter) but I promise you a light, fluffy ending.
Summary::..Rachel wants to hear the story of Phoebe & Joey’s relationship.
Phoebe left Joey’s apartment the next afternoon. She had spent all day just hanging out with him helping him learn his lines for the dog food commercial he was auditioning for tomorrow. They had kissed a little but there had been no sex & no exclusive touching.
When she’d been leaving he’d given her one kiss. The kiss hadn’t had any passion. It felt totally platonic. She may as well have kissed Chandler on her way out.
She wandered across the hallway & into her old apartment where Monica was still living. Monica was no where in sight when Phoebe arrived but she didn’t pay any attention to that. She went to the fridge, pulled out a block of chocolate before sitting down at the table opening it.
Phoebe sat there for a while trying to figure out what she should do. She hadn’t come any closer to an answer about two minutes later when Monica’s bedroom door opened & she came out wrapping her bathrobe around her.
“Phoebe, what are you doing here?” She hissed. “I’ve got Bobby here, you gotta go.”
Phoebe sighed heavily. “I guess I’ll just get out of your hair then.”
Before she could get up & leave Monica had spotted the open packet of chocolate. At once she knew that something serious was up. She stopped Phoebe from leaving.
“What’s the matter?” Monica asked pointing to the chocolate.
Phoebe looked up at her with tears stinging painfully in her eyes. “I think I have to break up with Joey.”
Monica gaped sitting down in the chair next to Phoebe’s. “Oh my God sweetie, why?”
“I don’t think I love him anymore.” Phoebe confided in her.
Monica sat there simply looking stunned for a few moments. “Wow, this is really serious.”
Phoebe nodded breaking off another piece of chocolate for herself. “Yep.”
“Well we gotta get into the hard stuff.” Monica said getting up & taking the bar of chocolate away from Phoebe. She put the bar back in the fridge before she opened the freezer & pulled out a tub of triple-choc ice-cream. She got out two spoons & placed the tub down in front of Phoebe. “Now tell me everything.”
“It’s just going downhill, we’re not going anywhere.” Phoebe told her. “I love him so much, he’s like the only guy I’ve ever been crazy about & it’s just falling apart.”
Monica reached up & stroked Phoebe’s shoulder supportively. “Isn’t there anything you can do?”
“No.” Phoebe said her voice cracking with the tears that were begging to be shed. “I can’t feel anything for him anymore, it’s just like we’re friends, we barely have sex anymore. Whatever we had for each other is gone, it’s just gone & it’s killing me.”
Monica got up, went over to Phoebe’s side & wrapped her arms around Phoebe’s torso. “I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t want to break his heart, I love him so much & I don’t want to lose what we have.” Phoebe said.
Monica crouched down on the ground beside Phoebe’s chair & looked up at her seriously. “You have to do it; if you don’t you’ll just make it even worse. You should end it now before things get desperate & just plain bad.”
Phoebe sighed digging her spoon back into the ice-cream. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I just don’t want to do it.”
Monica reached up running her hand through Phoebe’s wavy hair. “I know, but the sooner you get it over with the sooner it can get better.”
Phoebe decided the next morning that she was just going to do it & simply get it over with. When she woke up & went to Monica’s Joey was already there.
“Hey Phoebe, the man of your dreams is here.” Joey announced.
Phoebe gaped excitedly. “Johnny Depp is here?”
“No, I meant me.” Joey stated.
“Oh, I knew that.” She shrugged.
He furrowed his brow at her. “You dreamt about Johnny Depp last night?”
“Yeah, didn’t you see him in Cry Baby?” She stated.
This was nice, this was comfortable. It wasn’t awkward at all.
Until she realized that they seemed more like friends rather than a couple. She could’ve come in & had this conversation with Monica. It simply proved to her that all they really had left was a friendship.
They hardly acted like boyfriend-&-girlfriend, so why should they label themselves as that anymore?
“Joey, we need to talk.” She told him crossing the floor & going over to sit with him at the table.
He nodded & turned to her. “Okay.”
“I love you.” She stated. “But I think we need to break up.”
His eyes instantly grew wide. “What? Pheebs, no.” He took her hands as he fell off of his chair, falling onto his knees on the ground beside her. “Whatever I did, I’m really sorry.”
She shook her head. “No sweetie, it’s nothing that you did & it’s nothing that I did either, it’s just something that happened. I’ve noticed it for the past two months & I’ve been trying to avoid it but I can’t anymore.”
“I don’t understand.” He told her looking up at her innocently.
“Joey we barely have sex anymore, we barely do anything sexual anymore we just hang out. We’re not really a couple anymore & we’re not going anywhere but backwards, is there really any point in us being together?” She explained.
He gulped tears shining in his puppy dog eyes. “But I love you so much; I don’t wanna live without you.”
“I don’t wanna live without you either but us being together when the passion is gone is so pointless.” She stated.
He shrugged helplessly. “So what are we gonna do?”
“I know this is the worst thing to say during a break-up but I really want us to be friends.” She told him. “If I lost you I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, you’re the only guy I’ve ever been crazy about & I love spending time with you but not as your girlfriend anymore.”
He nodded slowly. “Okay. I can see where you’re coming from.”
“Yeah.” She said.
He got up wiping under his nose. “Well I gotta go.”
She watched him leave for a few moments before she got up. “Joey.” He turned back to her. “Don’t leave like this.”
“I’ve never been in love before so I don’t really know what to do here.” He told her in a gruff voice that suggested to her that he was trying as hard as he could not to cry.
She took a few cautious steps toward him. “Just hold me.”
He took a few steps, she took a few steps & when they met the simply stood there for a few moments. After he didn’t put his arms around her so she stepped forward, she rested her head on his chest & then put her arms around him. It didn’t take him much longer to reciprocate & put his arms around her as well.
“I love you so much.” He told her.
“This doesn’t have to be the end.” She said. “I’m not gonna let you go so easy.”
He pulled back looking at her. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“I know.” She nodded pulling him back closer to her. “You can keep Hugsy, okay? Take care of him.”
“That’s it?” Rachel asked. “You broke up like that?”
Phoebe nodded forcing back tears. “Yeah, that was it.”
“How long did it take for you guys to become friends again?” Rachel asked.
Phoebe shrugged a shoulder. “A week & a bit.”
Rachel paused her eyes growing wide. “Wow, that’s not long.”
“Yeah well it may not seem like a long time but if you were there living with Joey when it was happening then you wouldn’t think that it was such a short time.” Chandler told her.
“Aww, really?” Rachel asked turning her attention to him.
He nodded. “Joey moped for the whole week, I’ve never seen him so depressed.”
“That’s so precious.” Rachel said wiping a tear away from her eye.
“I don’t think I saw Joey eating for that week.” Monica stated coming into the living room with Ross helping her carry the snacks in.
Rachel turned back to Phoebe. “So you went back to being friends right away?”
Phoebe nodded. “Yeah, it was like nothing ever happen & we simply became best friends, it was really great.”
Rachel paused. “&…?”
“& that’s it.” Phoebe shrugged.
Rachel’s mouth dropped open. “That’s it? Nothing else? No Bonus Night?”
“What’s Bonus Night?” Phoebe asked.
Rachel smiled & laughed a little. “You know, Bonus Night. Where you get back with your ex for one night, one great steamy night.”
“Oh no we never did that.” Phoebe stated.
Rachel flopped back onto the couch with an unimpressed sigh. “Well that’s boring, why the hell not? I mean, come on, it’s Joey.”
“The passion just wasn’t there; maybe if I was you know, in the mood, I’d go to Joey.” Phoebe said.
“Don’t you ever think about it?” Rachel asked.
Phoebe shrugged. “Yeah, not really.”
“Oh well, Joey thinks about it.” Chandler told her.
Phoebe nodded smiling. “Yeah, uh-huh & where is Joey right now?”
Chandler pulled his jacket sleeve down so he could inspect his wrist-watch. “He should be at home, his audition ended about fourteen minutes ago.”
“I think I’m gonna go out.” Phoebe announced.
Monica furrowed her brow at Phoebe as she left the apartment. “Where are you going?”
Phoebe shrugged grinning mischievously as her cheeks turned pink. “No where, just out.” She stepped outside but before she closed the door she stuck her head back into the apartment. “Don’t wait up.”
After the door had closed after Phoebe there was a long pause in which they all sat silently just looking at each other.
“She’s gonna go have sex with Joey, isn’t she?” Rachel asked.
“Most likely.” Chandler shrugged.
Monica grinned. “Nicely done Rach.”
“Huh, what do you mean?” Rachel asked.
“You totally got Phoebe sweet on Joey again.” Ross replied.
Chandler caught Monica glancing sceptically at him. He turned to her & nodded. “I know, I heard the teenage girl speak too.”
“Really? Oh, I didn’t mean to.” Rachel said. “But yay me.”
“Imagine if they get back together.” Monica replied.
Rachel suddenly gasped her hands flying to her cheeks. “Oh my God, what if they get married? All because of me!”
Monica clapped excitedly. “This is so great!”
Ross & Chandler glanced at each other. Then at the same time they gushed mockingly waving their hands around excitedly.
After going back to her apartment & changing into something much more impressive Phoebe went back to Joey & Chandler’s apartment.
She couldn’t remember the last time that she’d worn something sluty to impress Joey. She wore tight shirts & small skirts to impress guys quite often.
But it had been a while since she’d been trying to impress Joey. She just hoped that his taste hadn’t changed.
But then again she didn’t expect Joey to try to resist her when she was wearing such a short dress. It was a small, loose, black dress that she was sure would win him over.
She doubted that Joey wouldn’t be won over when she was wearing such a dress & throwing herself at him. He would hardly be Joey if he didn’t want to go with it.
When she’d broken up with him she had never thought that she’d try anything with him. It was only Bonus Night, so it wasn’t as if it was anything serious.
But she was still a little surprised at herself.
It was all the talk of the relationship that had brought her here. She had barely thought about it since it had all happened. Then when she’d been telling Rachel all about it she had found herself remembering all the great things about being Joey’s girlfriend.
Hopefully she’d be able to recapture some of the passion for an unforgettable Bonus Night.
When she opened the door & stepped into the apartment she found that Joey was sitting on the couch by himself, there wasn’t a hint of anyone else around.
“Hey Pheebs.” He greeted her only glancing up briefly from the basketball game he was watching.
“Hey Joey.” She replied.
“Do you know what’s going on across the hall?” He asked her looking up at her as she entered the lounge room. “I went to hang out with them but they threw me out & said that I had to wait here for something.”
She paused for a moment biting into her bottom lip. They all knew that she wanted to have sex with Joey. She would have been embarrassed but she was too distracted by how pretty Joey’s hair looked.
She shook her head as she began to undo her over-coat. “No, I was looking for you so I came straight here.”
His eyes grew so wide they looked as if they were going to burst out of his skull when her over-coat hit the ground. “Whoa, anything you say Pheebs.”
She sat down on the couch beside him. “I was thinking about us today & how great we were together & it really got me in the mood for some Joey-love.”
“Really?” He asked his whole face lighting up with hope. “Phoebe I’ve been thinking about you ever since we broke up so there is plenty of Joey-love for you.”
She grinned before she leant forward & pressed her lips against his. It felt perfect, it was exactly how she’d wanted it to feel. It wasn’t awkward & it wasn’t the slightest bit platonic – it felt as if they’d never broken up.
Chandler arrived home to his apartment at 9 o’clock. He had stayed at Monica’s apartment for as long as he could manage.
But now he was tired & all he wanted to do was go to bed. He didn’t really care if Phoebe & Joey were having sex. They could easily stay in Joey’s room & Chandler wouldn’t be a disturbance.
As Chandler was laying his briefcase down onto the bench Joey’s bedroom door opened & Phoebe came out wearing a black skimpy dress.
Her blonde hair was all messed up & her dress was crumpled. She had her high-heels in her hand as well as her rolled up black pantyhose.
She smiled to Chandler proudly. “Yeah, we still got the heat.”
Chandler nodded. “Nicely done.”
“Oh yeah, it was so great.” She said picking her coat up.
“Oh yeah, I don’t need to know anymore.” He told her. “I’m happy for you, but not that happy.”
The next morning Joey arrived at Monica’s apartment looking for Phoebe. Monica, Rachel, Chandler & Ross were all sitting around eating breakfast.
“Hey, have any of you seen Phoebe this morning?” Joey asked.
“Yeah, she’s in the bathroom.” Monica replied.
“Not anymore she isn’t.” Phoebe announced while she came back into the dining room. When she spotted Joey she stopped dead in her tracks. “Hey Joey.”
He smiled going over to her. “Hey Phoebe, I got something I need to talk to you about.”
“Okay.” She said slowly as he reached out taking her hand.
He led her down off the step & got down on one knee. Her eyes grew wide as he pulled a small diamond ring out of his breast pocket. “Phoebe, will you marry me?”
Phoebe’s mouth dropped open into a wide grin as everyone around the table gasped leaping up for a better view.
“Whoa.” Chandler said dryly.
“Dude.” Ross gaped.
“Oh my God!” Rachel exclaimed clasping her hands together.
Monica began fanning her eyes dramatically. “I think I’m gonna cry.”
“No.” Phoebe said after a pause.
“What?!” Both Monica & Rachel snapped.
Joey furrowed his brow looking up at her. “What?”
“Joey, I’m still technically married.” She stated.
He paused. “Oh yeah, that gay dancer dude.”
“Right.” She agreed.
He got up. “So you don’t want to get back together?”
“No, didn’t I tell you that it was just Bonus Night?” She asked.
“You might’ve said that but how do you expect me to remember anything that you said when you were wearing that amazing dress.” He replied.
She shrugged modestly. “Well yeah, I did look pretty hot.”
“Forget about it.” He announced before he nodded. “So Bonus Night…”
She nodded. “Yeah, Bonus Night.”
He raised his eyebrows suggestively. “So, uh, maybe we should do it again sometime.”
“Oh definitely.” She exclaimed before she pulled him into a hug.
Rachel shook her head as she & the three others went back to the table. “Oh drama, drama.”
Joey pulled back from Phoebe slyly. “You left this at my place last night.”
“Oh thanks.” She replied taking her bra from him & stuffing it into her own pocket.
“& these.” He added taking her white panties out of his pocket.
She shrugged a shoulder. “Nah, you keep them.”
“Really? Why?” He asked.
“Well they’re kind of tight these days & I know how much you love playing with them.” She replied.
He smiled hooking his thumbs through the leg-holes. “Cool, I’ll put these with the others. I’m starting a little collection.”
“Yay.” She grinned putting her arm around his shoulders leading him into the dining room.
When they arrived at the table Joey sat down in Phoebe’s chair with Phoebe sitting on his lap. He immediately began picking at her pancakes.
“So, what’d we miss?” Joey asked.
Everyone around the table simply sat there watching Phoebe & Joey in confusion & shock.
“Aren’t you guys getting back together?” Monica asked.
“No.” Joey replied with his brow furrowed. “Why would you think that?”
Phoebe glared at Monica with her gritted teeth bared – she clearly didn’t want Joey to know that she had spent the majority of yesterday talking about him. “Yeah, Monica where would you get an idea like that from?”
“Who wants more pancakes?” Monica asked getting up & jabbing her elbow into Rachel’s ribs slyly.
“Ow!” Rachel cried. “Monica, what’d you do that for?”
Monica placed a hand to her chest, her eyes growing wide in false surprise. “I’m sorry sweetie, did I hit you? I totally didn’t mean to.”