Reality::..Friends – season 1, based after The Pilot but before anything major happens
Rated::..PG for adult themes
Genre::..Romance & humour
Characters::..Phoebe, Joey, Rachel, Monica & Ross.
Pairing::..Phoebe/Joey – or Joebe, if you will
Author’s Note::..So seeing is how Phoebe & Joey never hooked up in the show I had to write it for myself. I figure that the way those two act around each other, something like this could have believably been written into the show. I tried to stay as true to the show as I could & capture the characters personalities as best as I could.
I’ve pretty much just ignored the outline of The One with the Flashback because number 1: Phoebe & Joey don’t hook up in that (unfortunately) & number 2: Kip isn’t still going out with Monica then. I just wanted to add in someone for Monica & I love the episode The One with All the Kips so I felt that maybe Kip deserved a moment in the sun.
This is only part 1, there are three more parts after this. Because I wrote it & got so completely absorbed in it that I didn’t really care about how many pages I used, but you know what LJ’s like with the whole ‘post too long…too long, TOO LONG!’ (because it’s Joon now [eye roll]) so I split into four parts.
I have Monica moping the roof in this first part, I don’t know why I wrote her doing that, I just figured that it was the kind of pointless busy work I could give to Monica. & I have Joey talking about sandwiches quite a bit, because come on, would he really be the same Joey without the sandwiches?
Also, Joey gives Phoebe an ugly fruit bowl in this part, which he actually really did. In The One with the Apothecary Table Monica is talking about how Phoebe likes things to be original & one of a kind & she mentions the fruit bowl & Joey is all ‘hey, I made that...well, I found it’. So I figured it deserved a back-story, as all things related to Joebe do.
Summary::..Rachel wants to hear the story of Phoebe & Joey’s relationship.
Rachel had only lived with Monica for about a week or maybe more, so she was still getting to know the four people that seemed to always be at their apartment.
She remembered Ross from when she had been friends with Monica in high school. Chandler & Phoebe kind of freaked her out, but they were sweet & fun to be around. But Joey. Rachel knew nothing about Joey yet & she wasn’t exactly sure if she was attracted to him yet or not.
“So Joey’s pretty cute, huh?” Rachel asked casually as Monica was moping the roof.
Monica paused, lowered the mop & looked at Rachel. “You like Joey?”
“I dunno.” Rachel shrugged. “I mean he’s cute but he’s a little…” She paused unable to find the right word, she didn’t want to seem too harsh but all that she could think of was really mean.
“Dumb.” Monica filled in.
“I was going to say ‘slow’ but I guess we’re not sugar coating.” Rachel said with a chuckle as Monica went back to the roof. “He’s not really that dumb is he? I mean, it has to be some kind of pretty dumb boy act, right?”
Monica laughed knowingly. “Oh please, Joey can’t act that well.”
“Wow.” Rachel gaped. “No wonder why Chandler’s such a smart ass, living alone with Joey must drive him crazy.”
“Eh.” Monica shrugged. “I’ve never had to be alone with him for so long that it actually began to numb my brain.”
“Yeah.” Rachel replied with an absent mind – did she really have to have a slow conversation with Joey to find out if her attraction to him was deeper than just looks?
“If you’re curious about Joey you should really be asking Phoebe about this.” Monica stated.
Rachel raised her eyebrows as she glanced up at Monica. “Phoebe? Really? Why would that help…oh, because she’s as slow as Joey?”
Monica scoffed. “What? You think Phoebe’s as slow as Joey?”
“No.” Rachel lied nervously. “I just meant patient, you know, she’s patient enough to slow down, listen to Joey & somehow understand him.”
“Uh-huh.” Monica replied doubtfully. “That’s not what I meant, you know?”
“Oh, I know.” She stated trying to change the subject. “So what did you mean?”
Monica lowered the broom & sat down on the chair she’d been standing on. “Phoebe used to go out with Joey.”
Rachel’s mouth dropped open. “Phoebe & Joey, really?”
“Oh yeah.” Monica shrugged. “I’m actually surprised that you didn’t already know about it, they went out for like a year.”
“Oh wow, the things you hear through gossip.” Rachel grinned leaning in closer getting all excited – she hadn’t heard any juicy gossip since she’d first moved here. “So were they like really serious about each other & in love?”
“Yeah.” Monica replied with a smile before she paused & furrowed her brow thoughtfully. “Um…well, I think they might have been…for a while.” She sighed. “You know what, I don’t actually know. There was a lot of heat & it was kind of hard to really tell if there was much else & you should probably ask Phoebe about this.”
Rachel shrugged. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Oh well I won’t have to wait long to ask her about it, I’ll just see her when she comes around for lunch.”
“Phoebe’s coming around for lunch?” Monica asked. “Did you invite her or something?”
Rachel furrowed her brow as she got up. “Phoebe is here every day at lunch, haven’t you noticed that?”
Monica shifted uncomfortably her cheeks turning pink as she forced a laugh. “Of course I’ve noticed, come on, do you think that I really wouldn’t notice my own friends in my apartment?”
“You were too busy cleaning the fridge out, weren’t you?” Rachel asked knowingly.
“So what if I like having my drinks & food cleanly stacked & sorted, that doesn’t make me crazy, does it?” Monica replied.
Rachel shook her head. “Honey I wouldn’t know how to answer that even if I tried.” She turned & began over to her room. “I’m gonna change out of my p.j’s & freshen up before Phoebe arrives.”
Monica watched Rachel leave & once the door had closed she scoffed. “I am not crazy.” She turned her attention back to the roof. Almost instantly she was up on the chair again with the mop on the roof. “Damn spider web marks, I’ll be here all day.”
Phoebe arrived at Monica’s around lunchtime as usual. She opened the front door & stepped in. None of the guys were around so it was just Rachel & Monica. Rachel was sitting in the lounge room flicking through a magazine ignoring the TV, while Monica was standing over the sink picking at something on the roof above her.
“Monica, what are you doing?” Phoebe asked closing the door behind her. She suddenly gasped excitedly & rushed over to the sink. “Is the cute guy from upstairs back?”
“No, I’m cleaning the roof.” Monica replied.
“Oh.” Phoebe sighed going over to sit down at the table. “That’s no fun.”
Rachel had gotten up & was making her way into the kitchen. “Hey Phoebe.”
“Hey.” She replied.
“You want some lunch?” Rachel offered.
“Yeah, that’d be great.” Phoebe said.
Rachel opened the fridge, passed Phoebe a bottle of water & then began pulling things out for lunch. “So Pheebs…you don’t mind me calling you Pheebs, do you?”
“No, that’s okay.”
“Now that’s we’re on a nickname kind of basis we can talk, right? About boys & stuff?” Rachel asked.
Phoebe beamed. “I love talking about boys & stuff!”
“Yeah, so what happened between you & Joey?” Rachel asked.
Phoebe almost choked on the water she was sipping. “I thought you said boys, not Joey.”
“Come on Pheebs, you can tell me we’re pals, right?” Rachel prompted.
Phoebe shrugged. “Neh, you don’t want to hear it.”
“Yes I do, I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t interested.” Rachel stated.
“Well, that’s true.” Phoebe shrugged. “So what do you want to know?”
Rachel propped her elbow up on the table & planted her chin in her palm. “What was it like?”
“Oh it was great. It was really heated too.” Phoebe stated.
“Really?” Rachel asked.
“Uh-huh.” Phoebe replied grinning at the memories. “A lot of heat. We had heaps of fun as well, it was a great year.”
Rachel was looking at Phoebe thoughtfully. “Wasn’t it weird, though? I mean dating a friend.”
“Oh this was before Joey & I were friends. This happened just when Joey was moving in with Chandler.” Phoebe replied.
Rachel grinned. “So was it love at first sight?”
Phoebe paused & shrugged a shoulder. “Yeah, I guess so. I could tell you the story if you want.”
Monica sighed as she clambered down from the sink. “I don’t need to relieve that.”
“No, come on, I wanna hear it.” Rachel urged. “Monica, you can just leave the room.”
“I’ll hear it.” Monica said in a quiet voice as she sat down at the table as well.
“Ooh!” Phoebe exclaimed. “You know what other story Rachel hasn’t heard. The story about how I moved to New York, you know, after my mother killed herself & my step-dad was in prison.”
“Oh sweetie, that sounds great but I’d rather hear the Joey story.” Rachel told her politely with a sweet smile.
Monica was less polite, rolling her eyes tiredly at Phoebe. “Just tell the Joey story.”
“Alright pushy!” Phoebe snapped before she turned to Rachel & composed herself. “So it was back in 1991, I think it was October or Sep-…”
“Oh I loved 1991.” Rachel gaped. “Ralph Lauren’s fall range was so beautiful that year.”
Phoebe paused pursing her lips impatiently. “Uh-huh okay, do you wanna tell the story?”
Rachel recoiled like a wounded puppy. “Sorry Pheebs.”
“Anyway.” Phoebe attempted again. “It was back when I was still living here with Monica…”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Rachel interrupted. “You two used to live together?”
“Yeah.” Phoebe shrugged. “Haven’t you heard any of the stories?”
Phoebe pushed her curly hair out of her face as she finally reached her floor. She was making her way over to the apartment when she noticed Chandler’s apartment door was open. She was glancing in when a guy appeared in the doorway.
She was sure that she’d never seen him before. She didn’t think that she would easily forget a pretty face like his. She smiled nervously to him as he smiled looking her up & down.
“Hey, how you doin’?” He asked his eyebrows raised suggestively.
She grinned biting down onto her bottom lip as she felt her cheeks burning with heat. “So are you Chandler’s new roommate?”
“Yeah that’s me.” He replied. “Do you know Chandler?”
“Uh-huh, I live right here.” She told him motioning to the number 20 door.
He nodded smiling. “Cool, maybe we’ll bump into each other soon then.”
“That’d be great.” She told him feeling as if she were drunk.
“Yeah.” He agreed. “Well I better get back to moving boxes.”
“Yeah, I’ve got…uh…stuff to do in my apartment.” She lied not wanting him to think that she was some loser with nothing to do but sit a home.
“Okay well, I’ll see you.”
She was turning back to open the apartment door when out of the corner of her eye she saw him bending over. She turned around to check out his cute Italian butt as he was picking the last box up. He turned around in time to catch her checking him out causing her to smile nervously as she tried to think on her feet.
“Oh my, I’m enjoying watching you lift that box a little too much.” She teased with a playful chuckle & smile.
“Well if you came in maybe you’ll enjoy watching me unpack too.” He offered.
“How could I say ‘no’ to an offer like that?” She replied going over & into the apartment.
He placed the box down on the floor & closed the door after him. “So do you want a drink or a sandwich or anything?”
“Uh, I’ll have a beer.” She replied sitting down on one of the stools beside the bench.
He opened the fridge, pulled out a beer & passed it to her. “I didn’t think that Chandler would actually have beer. I thought he was gay.”
She smiled struggling with the lid. “Hah, really?”
“Yeah & I kinda made an ass of myself in front of him over it.” He said.
“Oh, don’t worry about it; he’s probably used to it.” She shrugged placing the unopened beer bottle on the bench. “Everyone thinks he’s gay to start off with. Hell, I even thought he was gay.”
He had furrowed his brow at her & was pointing at the beer. “Are you gonna drink the beer or just look at it?”
“Nah, that’s okay.” She said. “So I don’t even know your name yet neighbour.”
“Oh right, I’m Joey.” He told her extending his hand to her.
“Well hi Joey, I’m Phoebe.” She replied.
He leant against the bench smiling at her. “So you’re like the first neighbour I’ve met. I met your roommate Monica, but it was only for a few seconds.”
“I don’t know any of the neighbours, except for Chandler. So I have to say that I’m the best neighbour here.” She told him.
“Hey, forget about it.” He replied. “You’re like the hottest neighbour I’ve ever had. I’m not sure if that’s really a compliment or not because my last neighbours were old & you know, creepy.”
“I stopped listening after ‘hottest neighbour ever’.” She said.
“I’m pretty sure I stopped listening to what I was saying after you walked up.” He stated.
She smiled looking down away from him & when she looked back up he was still looking at her. She leant forward & pressed her lips against his.
It didn’t take long for things to heat up. In what seemed like no time at all they had gone from leaning over the bench shyly kiss each other, to lying on the couch together kissing passionately.
What could Phoebe say? When something was right it was right & Joey seemed to understand that too.
She thought that Joey seemed like a great guy. He was funny, he was sweet & he was so very pretty. There was nothing wrong with what she was doing either.
It was a snap decision to simply start making out with him. She didn’t even know his last name or anything about his personal life – except that he was Chandler’s new roommate.
But that all added to the excitement. She didn’t know anything about him; all she knew was that the feelings were right.
What could be more romantic than that?
He pulled back looking at her carefully once she had opened her eyes. “I don’t wanna ruin the moment or anything but Chandler’s probably gonna be home soon.”
She sat up a little adjusting her black dress over her under shirt. “Yeah, okay.”
He furrowed his brow. “Uh okay…what?”
“You want to take this into the bedroom, right?” She stated.
He shrugged. “Right but I didn’t think that I could ask you straight out because I thought that you’d slap me & call me a pig.”
“Do you want me to slap you & call you a pig?” She asked.
“No, I actually think that it’s really cool that you don’t think I’m a pig.” He replied.
She smiled giggling bashfully. “I aim to please.”
“I just feel weird that I don’t know anything about you.” He said.
“Well weird doesn’t have to be a bad thing.” She stated.
“You got that right.” He agreed. “But I’m not used to chicks being like this, so I don’t really know what to do.”
She moved a little bit away from him to turn to face him. “So do you wanna exchange life stories or something?”
“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” He replied.
“Mine could take a while.” She told him hesitantly. “Because I kind of remember things from my past lives so there’s a lot of stories I could tell you.”
His eyes grew wide with excitement, surprise & interest. “Wow, past lives, that must be so interesting.”
“Eh, it has its moments.” She shrugged.
“Maybe you should stick to just this life.” He suggested.
She paused. “Well…that might take a while as well because I’ve got a lot of stories from when I used to live on the streets.”
“You lived on the streets?” He asked incredulously.
“Yeah, I’ve been around.” She stated.
“Wow.” He smiled. “Well maybe we should just have short stories for now.”
She nodded. “You are very wise.”
“So I’m Joey Tribiani & I’m an actor-…”
She gaped loudly cutting him off. “You’re an actor?”
“Well I don’t like to brag about it, but yes.” He told her smiling modestly.
“Well what are we doing talking? Like you said we haven’t got much time until Chandler gets home.” She said quickly getting up, taking his wrist in her hand & pulling him off toward his bedroom.
He paused just before they were about to enter his room. “Really?”
“Yeah, I’ve never been with an actor before…well not in this life anyway.” She said.
“I’ve never been with a street girl before, in any life.” He shrugged.
“Great!” She exclaimed yanking him into the room.
“Oh my God Phoebe.” Rachel gaped hitting Phoebe’s hand lightly as she laughed. “I can’t believe you slept with Joey on the first night just because he said he was an actor.”
Phoebe managed to control her laughter. “Oh come on, it was Joey, I was just looking for an excuse to sleep with him. & you can’t tell me that you never slept with someone just because of their status.”
Rachel paused as her cheeks began to colour. “Well I…uh…” She cleared her throat nervously. “I might’ve at some point.”
Monica scoffed. “Oh please, I don’t even have enough fingers to count how many I remember from high school.”
“Hey! This isn’t about me, is it? It’s about Phoebe & Joey & I don’t think that it’s fair that you’re stealing her thunder.” Rachel said.
Monica sighed rolling her eyes. “Oh Lord, give me strength.”
“So Phoebe…” Rachel began quickly & obviously turning away from Monica. “…what happened that night, huh? Did you get caught by Chandler? Was it really romantic or was it really hot & sexy?”
“All of the above.” Phoebe replied.
Rachel furrowed her brow. “I’m sorry, what?”
Phoebe shrugged. “What? All of the above.”
“Really?” Rachel asked. “So did Chandler catch you guys?”
“Well almost.” Phoebe replied. “We were just fooling around & then Chandler knocked on the door & we had to pretend that we were moving Joey’s bed as opposed to, you know, fore playing.”
“I remember that.” Monica stated. “Chandler came over here after he’d almost caught you guys & told me & Ross about it.”
“Really?” Phoebe asked. “I thought he just went to his room to listen through the wall.”
Monica shrugged. “That was probably his second option if I wasn’t home.”
“So did you guys know that we were having sex?” Phoebe asked.
“Of course.” Monica stated.
“Yeah Joey’s a crappy liar anyway.” Phoebe said.
“So how did it end?” Rachel asked. “Did you leave in the middle of the night while he was asleep or did you wake up in each others arms?”
“A bit of both actually.” Phoebe replied. “I woke up in the middle of the night & he was just kind of watching me in my sleep, you know.”
Rachel smiled with dewy eyes. “Oh, that’s so romantic.”
“You never told me this version.” Monica said.
“I didn’t?” Phoebe asked before she shrugged instantly dismissing it. “Ah well, you’re hearing it now.”
“&…&…come on Pheebs, don’t leave me hanging here.” Rachel urged.
“Well we just laid there kissing & looking at each other. Then after a while he really started bugging me over the whole life story thing, begging me to tell him some stories. So I told him my life story…or stories actually.” Phoebe explained. “Except he kept interrupting me by asking me questions & relating it to his own stories about sandwiches so it took me until sunrise to finish my stories & actually get him to understand that my step dad’s jail time was nothing like The Godfather.”
Rachel & Monica paused their eyes all wide & dreamy.
“Wow.” Rachel said slowly.
Monica paused before she blinked & seemed to rediscover her voice. “I didn’t think that Joey could be like that, that’s so romantic.”
“It was a lot of fun too. I mean, when it wasn’t annoying me that he was interrupting me so constantly he actually made me laugh, a lot.” Phoebe said.
“Wow.” Rachel repeated. “You guys had the night on your first night.”
Phoebe furrowed her brow. “The night? What night?”
“You know the night, where you talk for ages & you get to know each other & you connect really well.” Rachel replied.
Phoebe paused thoughtfully. “Huh. I guess we did have the night.”
Rachel gasped clasping her hands to her heart. “Oh my God, that’s so romantic. I think I’m going to cry.”
“Just go on with the story before she actually does cry.” Monica ordered.
“Okay so we had to hide in Joey’s room until Chandler went to work.” Phoebe continued. “Then after he left I did the usual night-after thing & I went home in the same clothes I had worn the day before.” She paused smiling. “Oh, so romantic.”
Phoebe arrived home after work in the same clothes she had worn the day before to find everyone gathered there as usual. Monica, Chandler, Ross, Kip & now Joey.
She felt her cheeks burn as soon as she saw Joey – he was still as cute now as he had been this morning. She tried not to look at him smiling brightly without knowing that she was actually doing it.
“Oh hey Pheebs, nice outfit.” Monica said smirking as she got up from sitting in Kip’s lap. “Weren’t you wearing that yesterday?”
“No, what do you think I am some kind of two-time dress wearer?” Phoebe snapped taking her chance to leave the room away from the sexual tension between her & Joey that she didn’t want anyone else to notice.
By now everyone was used to Phoebe yelling & being a tad overdramatic at times so no one looked at her like she’d just insulted them. Joey was the only one who hadn’t really spent as much time with Phoebe but he seemed too stunned to do anything but stare.
“Ah, I see Phoebe is home.” Ross announced.
“She’s probably going to sleep from now until morning. She didn’t come home last night; she was at some guys’ place.” Monica stated.
Joey’s eyes grew wide & he shifted uncomfortably. “Did anyone see what kind of shoes she was wearing?”
“Uh…no.” Kip replied unsurely.
“Shoes, really?” Chandler asked furrowing his brow at Joey.
“Yeah, they were really nice.” Joey stated. “I think I’m gonna go ask her what kind they are.”
No one tried to stop him; they all merely sat there watching him leave with confused expressions. None of them had any idea what the heck he was talking about.
Was he kidding or did he sincerely want to know what brand shoes Phoebe was wearing – none of them knew for sure.
Joey made it to Phoebe’s room & closed the door behind him without prompting any questions. “Hey Phoebe.”
She turned around from un-packing her bag. She smiled speaking with a seductive tone. “Hi Joey.”
“You don’t mind me hanging out here, right?” He asked sitting down on a chair not far from where she sat on the bed.
“No, that’s okay, I like your company.” She told him sweetly. “But…uh…what’s on your sandwich?”
He held the sandwich up proudly. “Monica just made it for me. It’s corned beef &-…”
“Beef?” She repeated & he nodded. “Yeah, Joey you can’t have that in my room.”
“Why not?” He asked.
“Because it’s meat & I’m a vegetarian & if it’s in here too long I’ll be able to smell it & the smell will probably stick in the air.” She replied. “You understand?”
He shrugged a shoulder. “Of course, forget about it. Hey, you know what; I’ll get rid of it right now, just for you.”
“That’s so sweet.” She told him.
His mouth suddenly opened wide, so wide that she believed he could have shoved the whole sandwich into it without even having to use force. He moved the sandwich to his mouth & devoured it in only five bites. While he sat licking at his fingers satisfyingly she gawked at him.
He turned to her & when he saw her gawking he merely shrugged. “What?”
“Did you actually have a sandwich to begin with? It disappeared so quickly I don’t think I ever saw it.” She said.
He smiled bashfully. “It’s a talent I have.”
“Well that’s not the only one.” She told him.
He glanced down away from her shyly before he looked back up a few moments later, his cheeks slightly coloured. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.” He got up & walked over to the bed. “See, I had a great time with you last night & it wasn’t just the sex…but that part was really great as well.”
She shrugged a shoulder. “Hey, I was there you don’t need to tell me.”
“Yeah baby.” He said with a laugh. “But I also really liked just talking to you that was so much fun.”
She smiled reaching out & taking his hand. “Aww, you’re so sweet to say that.”
“No, but I mean it.” He told her. “I mean, you’re just so interesting. I’ve never met a girl like you before, all your stories are so great & you’re so hot.”
“Well…” She began trying to be bashful & then deciding she didn’t really need to. She shrugged – there wasn’t really anything she could do about it. “Yeah.”
He smiled holding her hand back. “You’re so great.”
“As much as I’m enjoying you talking about me so much I feel a little bad because you’re so sweet & I should probably compliment you now.” She told him.
“Aww, you think I’m sweet?” He asked shyly.
“Are you kidding? You’re so sweet I think I’m getting a toothache over here.” She replied.
He paused looking at her worriedly. “Oh, I’m sorry.”
She laughed. “See, this is what I mean, you’re so cute. Hey, you know what I’m thinking?”
“Probably not what I’m thinking.” He said with a dopey smile.
“Why? What are you thinking?”
“About that sandwich Monica made me.” He replied.
“Yeah, I totally wasn’t thinking that.” She stated.
“So what were you thinking?” He asked.
“Well I was thinking that tonight you could have a sleep over here & tomorrow I could get to see you in this cute outfit again.” She told him leaning in & nuzzling against his cheek.
He was looking at her quite intrigued & looking as if he were about to say something. But before he could say anything she bit loudly at the air beside his cheek.
He jumped his eyebrows jumping up as a surprised smile appeared on his face. “Wow, you really like my outfit that much?”
“Are you kidding? This cute little pink shirt…I just wanna rip it off of you.” She said placing her hands at the bottom of his shirt.
“Hey, if you rip it I’m not gonna be able to wear it tomorrow.” He told her.
She paused stilling her hands. “Yeah, that makes sense & you do look cute in it. I like how you look in it; it’d be a shame to ruin such an adorable shirt.”
“Well if you really want to rip one of my shirts I could wear an ugly one tomorrow.” He offered.
“Yeah, that’d be great, uh-huh.” She exclaimed. “Ooo, ooo! I have all these ugly dresses that my friends & stuff have given me for birthdays & I’d feel bad if I threw them out. So like before we have sex I could put them on & then you could rip them off of me. If they were ripped I wouldn’t feel bad about throwing them out.”
“Hey that’s a great idea.” He told her.
She nodded. “Uh-huh.” She pushed herself up to the head of the bed leaning against the pillows. “So you wanna come over here & sit with me, lover?”
“Definitely.” He said moving over to beside her. He leant in to kiss her & then paused. “You know what else is a good idea?”
She slipped her hand up from his chest & over his neck. “What?”
“Tonight I could tell you more of my stories.” He said enthusiastically.
She paused biting into her bottom lip hesitantly. “Uh…”
“Don’t worry; I have stories that aren’t just about sandwiches.” He told her.
She smiled before leaning in & kissing him. “Cool.”
They laid there for a while kissing. But before anything could actually happen the voices in the dining room caught Joey’s attention.
He pulled back looking at her unsurely. “Hey, we’ve kind of been in here with the door closed for a while; you don’t think they’re getting suspicious or anything?”
“Yeah, probably.” She replied before they both sat up. “Well, what did you tell them when you were coming in here?”
He paused looking up & cupping his chin thoughtfully. “I don’t remember.”
“Oh, that’s okay.” She shrugged. “We can make something up.”
“I’m not gonna be able to do that either.” He told her honestly.
“Don’t worry sweetie, I know how to lie. You just give me a minute.” She assured her patting his hand.
For about ten minutes they sat there with him staring off vacantly while she bit into her bottom lip trying to come up with a lie.
He popped his lips looking around her room. “Wow, are those all just your CD’s?”
“Yeah.” She replied with an absent mind.
“You must have like over 500 there.” He told her.
“Yeah.” She repeated before an idea suddenly struck her & she turned back to Joey quickly. “Wait a minute, that’s it!”
He furrowed his brow unsurely at her. “It is?”
“Yeah.” She exclaimed. “We could just say that we met in the hall the other day & I was telling you all about my CD’s & you wanted to see them. That’ll work, right?”
“Right, you’re so smart.” He told her.
She laughed as she got up. “Yeah I know.” When he got up she linked her arms around his waist & kissed him softly. “Oh I can’t wait ‘til everyone leaves & I can finally get this shirt off of you.”
“Hey, I thought you liked the shirt.” He said.
“I do but I’m really horny.” She told him. “So it’s probably a good idea that we get out of here right now before I get too carried away.”
He took a step back from her. “I’m gonna go open the door now.”
“Yeah, okay & after you do we’ll act like you told me a really funny story.” She said & the second he’d opened the door she burst out laughing. “Oh Joey, the places you find sandwiches!”
He forced a laugh as well as they made their way into the dining room where the other four were still sitting around. “I know.”
“Oh hey you guys, what are we all talking about?” Phoebe asked casually.
“You know that you were in there for almost an hour, right?” Chandler said.
Joey’s eyebrows shot up as he pretended to be surprised. “Really? Wow, we got really distracted by those CD’s, huh Phoebe?”
“Yeah, well I do have a lot.” She shrugged leaning against the back of the couch beside him.
“CD’s?” Kip repeated. “Joey, I thought you were going in there to ask about Phoebe’s shoes.”
“Didn’t we say shoes?” Joey asked. “Because we meant shoes.”
“Yes shoes.” Phoebe agreed playing with her hair nervously. “I was just showing Joey my shoes.”
Monica narrowed her eyes suspiciously at them. “If you were just showing him your shoes then why is your lipstick all over his mouth?”
“Well we weren’t just looking at my shoes, how boring.” Phoebe said.
“Yeah.” Joey agreed.
“We were also…um, you know…betting. So I bet him that he wouldn’t put lipstick on & keep it on out here.” Phoebe lied.
“& I bet her that I could undo her bra with only my left hand in less than a minute.” Joey added.
“Wait, wait. I know I’m supposed to be paying attention to the story about Phoebe & Joey but who the heck is this Kip guy?” Rachel asked.
Monica shifted awkwardly & shrugged. “He’s no one important.”
“I only wanted to know a little bit before but now I really wanna know.” Rachel stated.
“Yeah, come on Monica, we wanna know about Kip.” Phoebe teased.
Monica sighed. “Fine. Kip is one of my ex-boyfriends, he was friends with Chandler & Ross in college & he lived with Chandler before Joey moved in.”
“Why’d he move?” Rachel asked.
“He got a job & he had to move downtown & then we kind of broke up.” Monica replied.
“Yeah so we had to freeze him out. After they broke up they couldn’t be in the same room together so we had to do things separately & we promised Kip that we’d stay friends but we got sick of him really quickly.” Phoebe explained.
“Yeah Kip was never that great anyway.” Monica said.
“I’m pretty sure we froze him out within a month & a half. He never really fought that hard to stay in.” Phoebe stated.
Rachel laughed unsurely. “Froze him out? What?”
“You know, how you stop inviting them to hang out & you just ‘forget to’ return their calls, which you’re ‘never home’ in the first place to get.” Phoebe said.
“Really?” Rachel asked. “Is this something you do often?”
Phoebe shrugged. “Only with the Kips.”
“Yeah.” Monica agreed.
“Jeez, I don’t wanna get on your bad side.” Rachel said.
“That’s right you don’t.” Phoebe told her.
Rachel shifted uncomfortably before she cleared her throat. “So…uh…Pheebs, what happened next?”
Phoebe was in the middle of a massage when there was a knock at the door. She covered her clients’ shoulders back over.
“I’ll be back in a moment.” She told her client in her deep & soothing voice. She crossed the room, opened the door & poked her head out. “Yeah?”
“Phoebe, your boyfriend is here to see you.” Nancy told her.
“Boyfriend?” Phoebe repeated. “What? I don’t have a boyfriend.”
Nancy shrugged. “Well he says he’s your boyfriend. He’s this really cute guy with a puppy dog look & he has floppy brown hair like a model or something.”
Phoebe’s mouth dropped open. “Oh my God, Joey? Joey said that he was my boyfriend?”
“Eh, I guess. Do you want me to tell him to come back?” Nancy offered.
“No, just tell him that I’ll be out in five minutes.” Phoebe replied.
“Five minutes?” Nancy repeated. “You’ve barely been massaging this guy for that long.”
“What are you, my boss?” Phoebe asked before she closed the door. She turned back into the room & switched the lights on. “Alright well that’s your half-hour finished.”
The client raised his head from the table sleepily. “Really? That didn’t feel like half an hour.”
“Well I don’t know what to tell you so you know, see you next time. Once you leave this room Nancy at the front desk will take care of you.” Phoebe said leaving the room.
She went out into the waiting room where Joey was sitting with some weird, ugly & multi-coloured fruit bowl in his lap. She didn’t know what it was meant to be or where he had gotten it from. But she figured that it was for her because it didn’t really seem like the kind of thing Joey would carry around if he didn’t have to.
“Hey Joey.” She greeted as she entered the room.
He got up as soon as he saw her. “Hey Pheebs.”
She went over to him pecking him lightly on the cheek unable to embrace him with the fruit bowl between them. “What are you doing here?”
“Well I had nothing to do today so I kind of made you this.” He lied giving her the hideous fruit bowl.
“You made this?” Phoebe asked excitedly – it may have been ugly but he had made it for her & that was sweet. Joey had to be the cutest & he didn’t even have to wear his cute pink shirt.
He shrugged. “Well I found it, but you know, that’s the same thing.”
“Oh, uh-huh.” Phoebe agreed. “You found it just for me, right?”
“I was actually looking for a sandwich but when I saw it, it instantly reminded me of you & I thought you might like it.” He told her.
“Aww well I’m gonna put it…” She paused wondering if Monica would let her put it on display in the apartment. It didn’t go with anything she had in the apartment. Phoebe would have to put it in her room unless she wanted Monica ‘accidentally’ breaking it on her. “…in my room.”
He furrowed his brow. “In your room? Will anybody see it there?”
“I will sweetie.” She told him. “So you wanna go hang out at the bar?”
“Today’s your half-day, huh?” He said.
Her eyes lit up. “You remembered?”
He shrugged a shoulder bashfully. “Yeah, so come let’s go.” He said offering his hand to her.
She giggled, blushing before she took his hand. “I’m so glad you came, I would’ve just gone home & fell asleep, how boring.”
“That’s all I did all morning.” He stated.
“So Nancy told me that you said you were my boyfriend.” She told him.
“You didn’t mind, did you?” He asked appearing nervous.
“No, when I realized that she meant you I thought ‘damn, my boyfriend is hot’.” She replied.
He stopped where they were on the sidewalk & turned to her. “So you wanna be my girlfriend?”
“Yeah.” She said before she suddenly got a good idea which got her excited. “Ooh! You know what would be great? If you gave me the fruit bowl when you ask me.”
“This is a fruit bowl?” He asked looking at it unsurely.
She shrugged. “Well yeah, what did you think it was?”
“I dunno, I thought you’d figure out something to do with it.” He said before he cleared his throat looking at her seriously. “So Phoebe, do you want to be my girlfriend?”
“Uh-huh, oh this is so romantic.” She replied as she took the fruit bowl from him. She put her hand to the back of his neck & drew him in for a kiss. “You know seeing is how we’re boyfriend & girlfriend now we should probably go somewhere nicer than the bar for our first date.”
“But I love the bar.” Joey told her. “& they’re gonna turn it into that crappy coffee house soon, so this is maybe the only date we’ll ever get to have there.”
She paused thoughtfully. “That’s true & really romantic.” She smiled, leaning forward & rubbing her nose against his. “You’re so smart.”
“Aww.” He smiled bashfully. “Are you this nice when you’re drunk?”
She turned from him taking his hand again. “You’ll just have to find out.”
“Hey I know it’s our first date & all but I don’t really have any money to pay for anything.” He told her.
“That’s okay, you got me a fruit bowl the least I can do is pay for a couple of beers.” She stated.
He nodded smiling. “I have the coolest girlfriend ever.”
“Yeah & you know if you still feel guilty about making me buy you beer then you can make it up to me when we get back to my apartment.” She told him pressing herself up against his side.
“Your first date was at a bar?” Rachel asked.
“That bar isn’t even a bar anymore.” Monica defended.
“Yeah, so for our first date we went to the bar & then on our second date we went to the same place, except by then it was the coffee.” Phoebe explained.
“Huh.” Rachel said. “I’d forgotten that the coffee house was actually a bar.”
“Yeah, you missed out on some fun times.” Phoebe told her getting up to get a beer.
The door opened & Ross came in looking miserable.
“Hi.” He said drearily as if all of his life’s pain was put into that one word.
“Uh-oh, what’s the matter this time?” Monica asked.
Ross slumped down into a chair around the table. “Some kid was kicking a ball around in the museum & he kicked over one of the displays so I-I-I went to fix the display & the kid kicked the ball & it hit me right in the neck. So now my neck really hurts.”
“Oh Ross, do you want me to massage it for you?” Phoebe offered.
“No!” Rachel cut across him quickly. “Phoebe is already in the middle of something, she’s telling us a story.”
Ross moved his hand to support his neck. “Oh really, what story?”
“About her & Joey.” Monica replied.
“Oh really?” Ross asked. “Wow, I haven’t thought about that in ages.”
“Well Rachel didn’t even know about them.” Monica stated.
Ross turned to her. “Really?”
“Oh my God, what is the big deal over me & Joey dating?” Phoebe asked.
“None of us six have ever hooked up before & you & Joey were so cute together.” Ross replied.
Phoebe sighed rolling her eyes. “Alright, we’ll talk about me some more.”
“Ross, you really thought they were cute together?” Rachel asked.
“Well…there was a lot of heat.” Ross replied.
“So I hear.” Rachel stated nudging Phoebe.
“But when they weren’t being you know like ‘whoa PG-13’ they were really cute. Like they’d always be sitting together & holding hands & poking & tickling each other.” Ross explained. “But the cutest thing was when Joey would tell jokes & only Phoebe would laugh…”
Phoebe furrowed her brow. “Joey tells great jokes; I wasn’t just laughing at his jokes because we were sleeping with each other.”
“Come on Phoebe, what about that week with the peanut butter & jelly sandwich story? I heard that story four times & every time you laughed like crazy.” Monica rebutted.
“Yeah well if you had’ve been there when he found that sandwich you would’ve laughed.” Phoebe stated.
Monica shuddered. “I’m so glad I wasn’t there.”
“You know what else I really liked about you two together?” Ross said.
“Yeah?” Phoebe asked.
“You guys were such good friends. Once you could see past all the, all the heat you guys were really cute you were always sitting together & talking & I swear for the whole year that you guys went out I never saw you guys apart.” Ross explained.
Phoebe nodded. “Yeah, when we weren’t doing the fun stuff we had a lot of fun in other ways obviously.”
“So what part of the story were you up to?” Ross asked leaning in very interested.
“Uh…” Phoebe began.
“Hey Ross, when Phoebe starts telling the story again do you want me to paint your nails or maybe braid your hair?” Monica teased.
“What?” Ross asked getting defensive. “It’s romantic; it’s like watching some kind of romantic movie. What am I supposed to do? Turn away & hurl?”
“Yeah.” Rachel agreed reaching out & putting her hand on top of his on the table surface. “I think it’s nice, sensitive guys are hard to find.”
Ross turned to Monica with a cocky grin. “Yeah. So Phoebe what part were you telling?”